Besides being the worst blogger in the world, life has been pretty good for me. I made a promise to myself that I was going to post more and I hope that I do. I hate that I used to be a much better blogger. I really want to be. I’m just so not into anymore. I read so many awesome blogs and I’m just not that person right now.
Yesterday I got to see my BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD for the first time in NINE years. We’ve known each other for 25 years. She lives a million miles away in Missouri, but we still keep in touch. The last time she was here was 2004. I hope to make it out there next summer. I haven’t been since I was 15.
This was outside the pizza place we used to walk to all the time. It was such a blast to see her again. I didn’t realize how much I missed her until we were saying goodbye. Seriously.
Last week I was so awesome with my workouts. This week? Not so much so far. I’m trying. It’s a slow process. I even worked out at night a couple times last week. And the week before. I know, who am I?! This week I don’t see that happening. But, maybe. I don’t know.
I’m not dwelling on the lack of weight loss or anything like that anymore. When I’m ready, it will happen. I’m happy being me and happy in our house and happy I have a job and happy that I do exercise and that I’m healthy even though I’m overweight. I have family and friends that love me for me and that is really all that matters. I don’t binge anymore, I just make poor food choices at times and I know that. I know I’m human and when the time is right, I lose the weight again. I know it. I know what to do and I’ll do it. When I’m ready.
The wedding this past weekend was wonderful. My brother in law and my sister in law (I know not technically but whatever) are now in Hawaii. I’m so jealous. The pictures they are posting on facebook make me want to DIE!! The wedding was fantastic. The bride looked AMAZING!! The food was outstanding. And everything went perfect. Well…almost perfect.
The flowers for the groomsmen were forgotten back the house, but I went back to get them. I don’t think I have ever seen my BIL so upset before. I didn’t even think. I just grabbed the keys from his hand and jumped back in limo. I wasn’t in the wedding, so I didn’t have to be there early. And the wedding went on when I got back. No big deal. My BIL is like a brother to me and it was the least I could do. I’ve watched him grow up, I’ve known him since he was 12 years old and I was happy to do it.
We ate, we drank, we danced. We had a great time.
Then I saw this picture.
I said to my husband “Why did you let me get so fat?” And he said, “You’re beautiful”. Which is really sweet of him to say and I don’t think I look too horrible, but I was really shocked at how big I look. And I’m not happy about it at all. And even though I have said this a million times over the past few months, I am kicking myself in the ass and getting back on track. THIS picture has got to be in my mind on the mornings I don’t want to get up and hit the treadmill. Or the nights I want to eat that pizza or ice cream.
I actually haven’t worked out since Friday. I didn’t get a chance to use the fitness center at the hotel we stayed at for the wedding because we were just so busy. And I’ve been pretty doped up on Benadryl these past few mornings due to my Angioedema flaring up, but tomorrow morning I plan to get in a good workout. I need to. It’s been too long.
Here’s to losing the weight!!
Hey, so after 5 days of counting my points, I went down 5.4 pounds. Not too shabby if I do say so myself. I even survived a Birthday party at work yesterday. With this mammoth cake.
Inside that cake is the most amazing fruit you’ve ever tasted. Trust me. I’ve eaten it. But not yesterday. I did eat some Chipolte though. Man, I love Chipolte.
I don’t know how they knew I loved cats. It’s strange. Everyone had a little face on their container and I was the only one who had a cat.
Wednesday night I was on the treadmill and it hit me. It really hit me. I hate working out at night. No, I do. I just hate it. It’s not my idea of a good time. And since it’s been so freaking hot here, I just hate it more.
This morning I was up at 5 a.m. and in working out by 5:30. I was not going to be hating today.
Do you like to work out at night or in the morning?
Do you like cake?
I am starting to have a healthy relationship with food. I don’t think I’ve ever really had one before. I’ve always wanted to be one of those people that can buy a package of muffins, eat just one and put the rest a way for later.
I started noticing when I began having bread in the house again that I can eat one roll and I’m good. I can have it sitting on the counter for DAYS and not touch the remaining seven. I haven’t had that in so long. I
can could binge on anything if I let myself.
This past week I let myself eat when I was hungry and what I wanted. I didn’t go crazy and stuff my face with candy or ice cream (although we have some in the freezer). Friday I had the most amazing salad for lunch. I’ve been eating a lot of protein and fruit. Mass amounts of fruit. It’s like candy to me I think.
This morning I worked out (35 minutes of cardio and 39 minutes of weights) and proudly enjoyed a nice red velvet muffin for breakfast. That’s it. Just one. The rest of the package is sitting on the counter. And I didn’t even WANT to have another one.
I’m not saying I’m “cured” of my food issues and I’m not saying there won’t be days I won’t eat two muffins, but for me this is a HUGE deal and a giant stepping stone.
Don’t think that I don’t want to lose weight, but right now I’m just working on me.